Honorable mention: Lobster Man This is the reddest guy I have ever met. Seriously: every single square inch of his body is of the brightest and deepest tint of crimson I have ever laid eyes on. In fact, he’s so red my ex Erika would have attempted to exorcize him (more on Ms. Jesus […]
The Top Ten Most Annoying Hobos: #3: Third Cup
3) Third Cup You know, I never understood the name “Second Cup”. Well, to be clear, I never understood why we needed so many different coffee chains in the first place (Starbucks, Java U, Café Dépôt, Café Presse, Second Cup, Tim Hortons, Art Java, Dunkins Donuts plus the 50,000 independent coffee shops listed here […]
The Top Ten Most Annoying Hobos: #2: Second Cup
2) Second Cup The second place gets on my nerves so bad I almost considered not including it. On paper, it’s the best place on the list and a great place to write in general. Quite spacious, it offers a large number and selection of seats and the prices are decent: you can […]
The Top Ten Most Annoying Hobos: #1: Tim Hortons
1) Tim Hortons The first place on the list is a Tim Hortons which, already, disqualifies it as a potential place to write. Dark, ugly and always empty (at least at this hour), this place is as gloomy as a bad haunted house during an electrical outage and is more likely to scare than […]
The Top Ten Most Annoying Hobos
One particular thing about me is that I rarely get compose original works at home. I simply can’t get inspired on Microsoft Word; to write, I need a blank page, I need to strike out things and add notes on the fly, which computers simply can’t do. Computers, for me, are used for editing, refining, […]
God of Infinity: Epilogue
Is there anything that should ever be added to that masterpiece, really? Isn’t it absolute perfection already? Well, three years later, Sumer added an update under another name, in the same topic. Now, take a guess: do you think the update makes any more sense? Do you think three years made him more sane? Do […]
God of Infinity Part 4: Batshit Insane
AND NOW THIS IS THE CLIMAX OF THE MOVIE: THE FINAL BATTLE. ARE YOU READY? ARE YOU FUCKING READY? CAPS LOCKS TIME! Let’s do this. So THAT’S where the data is coming from after all! Some guy who got naked in his apartment was “injected” with imagination. The mission…. The mission… Challenge even you, the […]
God of Infinity Part 3: Paranoia Finally Sets In
I’d like to take a moment here to indicate that this is truly where paranoia will begin to set in. If there is any psychiatry resident reading this, Sumer would make a fantastic subject. This guy is literally a walking DSM-V. Let’s read the next paragraph: DAMNIT! I’ve noticed phone calls in recent days, and […]
God of Infinity Part 2: From simply crazy to crazy dangerous
In this part, Sumer Kolcak shows his true nature and… Well, he gets dangerous for real. This is where… Well, let’s just say I was totally, completely opposed to the Patriot Act, but after reading this, I’m not so sure anymore. Oh fuck. No need to wait even a second more. Call the FBI, report […]
God of Infinity Part 1: The One One
So THAT is the data. GREAT data. And you have decided to give it to us after all? OH MY GOD I CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH, SUMER! And your data is that any color that isn’t white is abusing humanity? And we are supposed to experiment on that how exactly? How, Sumer? On other websites, […]