God of Infinity Part 1: The One One

here is the data you need, any color that is not 100% white is responsible for abusing humanity

So THAT is the data. GREAT data.

And you have decided to give it to us after all? OH MY GOD I CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH, SUMER! And your data is that any color that isn’t white is abusing humanity? And we are supposed to experiment on that how exactly? How, Sumer?

On other websites, you call almost everyone in the world, especially people in America, “racists”; racist cops who arrested you, racist employees who fried your brain with waves, racist commenterss on forums, etc. Supposedly, that’s why you failed your shitty image hosting website. Now, this might be the best time to introduce the main project of our Sumer Kolcak, called www.void.is (what else, really? I mean, what domain name did you expect from him?)

His idea was simple: do the exact same thing as Imgur, but make people pay for it – and obviously change the background to white. Obviously, man! Imgur has a black background and is responsible for abusing humanity, after all. His idea was basically to make people pay to view images. Then, an algorithm would delete images with the fewest views, keeping only images reeking in money. Seems like kind of a decent “business plan.” Do we go on Dragons Den or Shark Tank yet, Sumer?

In any event, our friend spent around 2 months trying to code everything by himself because, clearly, such a project is a one-man mission (got to give him credit: he is THE ONE, after all). He gave up after blaming the US for sabotaging his website. I wish I was making this up. He went as far as calling Google “thieves” for indexing his images and “distributing them for free,” and blamed the crawnbots which index pages for Google search as “attacks.”

Sumer Kolcak asks a retarded question on Stack Overflow

Here is what his stackoverflow account says:

“This account is temporarily suspended for rule violations. The suspension period ends on Feb 11 ’27 at 14:39.”

Ouch. Fourteen more years, Sumer.

In any event, let’s look at his second website, called motiono (Good name, I actually have to give credit for the name here there):

sumer kolcak runs the video sharing web site motiono, a successful web site competing with google, youtube, yahoo and jumpcut. (http://sumer-kolcak.blogspot.ca/)

And that was the last time “motiono” has ever been mentioned, anywhere. Look, guys, it’s competing with “google, youtube, yahoo and jumpcut” all at the same time – it’s just competing slowly, okay? Should have called it “motionogoogyayoucut.com”.

At one point, Sumer went as far as sending injunctions (and by “injunctions,” I mean “injunctions in his head”) to every single guy on Wall Street, calling them racists – and now he is somehow claiming only white is perfect.

colors do not come from white,

You know what? As little sense as Sumer can ever make, this is actually right. That’s what is so fascinating with him: every once in a while, he writes something so dumb it’s brilliant. Yes, colors do not come from white – white comes from colors, in fact (because white is perfect, like Sumer himself).

that is why they are not white.
they contain darkness inside them, and darkness just like a
black hole pulls imagination and life, making humanity mortal.

The fuck?

Now it’s black holes? Pulling “imagination” and “life”? Is it me or this makes no fucking sense? I mean, isn’t one of the two… I don’t know, a bit more important than the second one? I digress, I digress, back on track (before a black hole pulls all my imagination and prevents me from typing any more):

wear white clothes dye your hair to white and experiment it.
wear black clothes and experiment it. i want results now
i want them fast.

So this is the data you are asking us to experiment with, Sumer? Dye my fucking hair white? Wear white clothes? Seriously? Because my hair is abusing humanity and getting people to kill themselves? Because my black hair is a black hole sucking imagination and life, making people mortal? Are you fucking nuts (don’t answer that)?

This was posted in a science forums, by the way, so it was posted to all kinds of scientists worldwide, not just fashion designers. Actually, this would have been better posted on a hairdresser forum – or, you know what, nowhere at all.

I have done “science experiments” before. This is how I picture a study done with his “data” would look like:

ARTICLE 1: A LINK BETWEEN WEARING WHITE AND ABUSE, SUICIDE AND JEALOUSY AND BECOMING THE ONE
In this article, we analyze the link between wearing white clothes, having white hair and abusing humanity. To experiment on that, we take 1,000 people, we dye their hair white and force them to parade in white clothes all day. We find the hypothesis is actually true because this study is a form of abuse in itself.

infact i want you to shave your head and eyebrows and wax
all the body hair on your body including private parts.

OH MY FUCKING GOD NO, I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT.

ARTICLE 2: DOES HAIR MAKE PEOPLE MORTAL?
For this study, we pick 500 men and 500 women chosen at random and we completely shave them. We are not really sure what we are supposed to discover, but we didn’t discover it. We do, however, have a very weird porno movie in the making.

But wait, Sumer: wasn’t I supposed to dye my hair white? Now I have to cut it? I have to dye it and then cut it?

anything dark near your body including sun-tan will pull
jealousy from other scientists that do not want you to rise
into power and they will control your mind and imagination.

But wait a second, Sumer. Are you saying we should never get any sun? Like, we should never go outside? Yeah, I think I can see more clearly what kind of person you are now… You know what, scrap that: it’s actually a great idea. The world would be actually a better place if you never went outside.

After the clothes, after the hair, it’s the fucking sun, now. THE SUN WILL GET ME! You know what the worst is, Sumer? You can’t escape the sun! Have you noticed that no matter who go, the sun is always there! It’s following you, Sumer! It’s an invention by the jealous scientists!

By the way, at least this is consistent with what he said: the sun isn’t white, so it’s abusing humanity. And it does abuse humanity! Think of all the sunburns, all the people who died of dehydration… This makes sense!

But you know what the worst is? Sumer isn’t even white himself. He’s turkish! You are responsible for all the suffering in the world, Kolcak! Last of all, Sumer, skin is never completely white anyway, sun-tan or not – it contains COLORS! GODAMN COLORS, YOU SCARY!

they will turn you into religious freaks so you can ignore
science so you can ignore truth, they do it so they can be
“the one” or “the two” in this case now that there can no
longer be “THE ONE”.

Read this last paragraph slowly. Scientists will turn you in “religious freaks” so you can ignore science? So scientists actively want you to ignore them? You know, that actually, kind of seem to be working. Most people don’t give a damn about science at all. Still… What? Did anyone understand that sentence? Scientists want to become “The one” before you? What?

so ignore everything and only pay attention to me, find me


on youtube find me at places, i will start a site soon.


just find me somehow, i will accept your jealousy too
i can handle it, because i am the most supreme being on
this planet.

Now things are getting fucking serious. The “most supreme being on this planet” is starting a site “soon.”

And you know what? He fucking did it. Aside from sumerkolcak.com (the website wasn’t fully white – although it was in fact 90% white – so it got devoured by jealous scientists and the sun), void.is (hint: his websites never last too long. I suppose “the one” gets him every time) and his motiono crap, Sumer started a website called www.IIOO.us. Do you get it? Binary code! I and O. Of course, to be technically correct, it should have been www.1100.us, but whatever – maybe the code was indeed leaked after all! All “I” and “O” are responsible for abusing humanity!

I wish I could tell you what IIOO.us was about, but I have no fucking clue. It was a bunch of nonsensical bullshit about the cosmos and being unstoppable because I and O was an universal language and the US government couldn’t block it because of that (even though it was a “.us” domain extension – by the way, you do realize the domain extension “.io” exists, right Sumer? Can’t be a coincidence- the universe has a domain name extension!). Anyway, back to his essay:

using black and white you can create a time machine too.
every time you are wearing black you will notice you are angry
every time you are wearing white you will notice you are happy.

But wait, I thought only white was good? I thought black was going to make me want to kill myself? Now it can help build a time machine?

I think I get why you also posted that on chesschat.com now. Chess is a fight between white and black! So if you play chess, you go back in time! It makes so much sense now!

And the white play first in chess because white is perfect. And all white pieces are dressed totally in white and they have no hair. The King is “The One.” So obvious! Did you go back in time to invent the game, Sumer?

white stops aging, black or any color will speed up aging.


immortality is here, we are all gods, i am sick of suicides
i am sick of jealousy.


imagination of humanity is pulled and you read it when
you wear black colors.

O…K…A…Y…

another experiment you can do is, sleep in a completely
white bed, with a white pillow and etc, make sure to
wax legs and etc, you will have a beautiful dream.

Hey, this looks interesting. Here is something we can actually experiment on. Could make a good study: “Do white sheets and pillow help sleep better?” (forget that crap part on shaving your legs) You know what, I might actually even do it….

you will see me in your dreams if you do it right.

HOLY NO I WON’T!

otherwise, you are just another jealous failure in the making.

i’ve done time travel, i’ve done reversing aging,
look around you, look at people around you, ones that wear
white clothes will always look more vibrant and younger.

this is because they are able to slow down or even reverse
aging ( YES, THEY ARE TIME TRAVELING in many senses )

This is where Sumer seriously starts to scare the shit out of me. There are people all around us time traveling? Because they are wearing white? Is this guy schizophrenic or what?

So if I go to sleep in a totally white bed, with legs shaved, I will somehow time travel? And if I don’t see you in my sleep, I’m a jealous failure in the making? Okay.

the reason why WILL SMITH wears BLACK and yet he is
successful

Yeah, I was thinking about him actually!  How come someone who is wearing black (and nonetheless is black as well – is he an “enemy” of THE ONE, Sumer?) is successful?

the reason why TOM CRUISE wears black and yet
he is successful, is because they wear WHITE UNDERSHIRT
and WHITE UNDERPANTS.

Oh damn! So simple! I’m so dumb, how could I not see this coming! Of course they wear a white undershirt and white underpants. I mean, you didn’t get that? Freaking obvious, man.

Turns out, you don’t have to dress totally in white at all time after all – undershirts and underpants are enough. Good to know, more “data” to “experiment” on.

ARTICLE 3: ARE WHITE UNDERSHIRTS A PREDICTOR OF SUCCESS IN LIFE?
In this article, we study try to correlate the color of undershirts and underpants with success. Sadly, we are unable to proceed with the study because all our subjects wearing white undergarments under black clothes were time traveling.
so, get the facts right, when you judge people make sure
you know what they are wearing underneath those dark suits.
those black suits.

GODAMNIT! Here I was, judging my boss because he wore a black suit, thinking he did not see Sumer Kolcak in his dreams and was yet another jealous failure in the making… BUT THEN YOU PULLED A CURVEBALL ON ME! You pulled a damn curveball on me, Sumer!

Next business meeting I have, I’ll ask every businessman if they are wearing white undergarment. Best way to know who’s a winner and who isn’t, right? “BOSS! I know you are wearing a white undershirt under that dark suit that is pulling my life away from me!!” If only they made white suits, that would make things so much simpler.

GUYS, GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT ALREADY!

if you got questions on how to do time travel, ask me on
youtube, i will give you the data.

THE DATA

there is a reason why earth is going worse and worse
because scientists just wont accept the fact that code to
infinity has been cracked, they have been banning me from
science forums and everywhere, their jealousy has already
resulted in many deaths around the world.

IT’S A CONSPIRACY, I TELL YOU! They don’t want “the data” to get out, that’s why they are banning you (this was posted in the forum “Alternative theories › Silly Claims Forum‎”, by the way, which I think is very, very generous)!

Scientists won’t accept the fact that code to infinity has been cracked? What the fuck does that mean? They refuse to shave their heads? And that’s why earth is “going worse and worse”? EVERYONE IS JEALOUS, “THE ONE” MOST SUPREME BEING IN THE UNIVERSE!

they are just to ignorant to accept the truth and start
their mission to save humanity.

Here, Sumer is significantly changing his tone (but not his message, sadly). Let’s go to part 2, which I will call “From simply crazy to crazy dangerous”. And yes, this goes on, and on, and on… and on.

 

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