Wow! What’s with the title, you might ask? Well, it’s simply the title of one of the most incredible posts ever posted in the internet. And to be honest, the title could hardly be more amazing in itself.
This is going to be quite different from what I normally write; in a way, this is more of an essay, an analysis or a critique. In short, what follows is a clear and complete analysis of one of the most amazing rant ever written on the Internet, if not in the entire world. Some people would call it poetry; I call it perfection. In all cases, I will critique and give honest feedback about what Sumer has written.
I long hesitated to make this post because… Well, do I even need to state a reason? When you read what Sumer has written, you will understand perfectly. For a while, I was afraid that this guy would come after me if I posted this – but since I live in Québec and him in California, I feel relatively safe. I’m still hoping border agents do their jobs, however.
I chose to repost his text in full here mostly because the original content is now hidden behind a login page, which will hinder seriously its views, and prevent further readers from discovering the “god of infinity”. Sumer Kolcak’s essay needs to remain intact and visible, if not only for future generations . I personally consider it an “absolute masterpiece” and simply cannot let it fall into oblivion.
Sumer fascinates me. I don’t know how he does it, but he always manages to make me laugh. Even when I’m think I’m used to him, even when I’m in no mood to laugh, Sumer makes me laugh. It’s hard to explain, but he just always have that little… extra. I really don’t want to spoil anything about this amazing masterpiece, so I will just mention a few things before starting my critique.
First, his original text was posted in one long wall of text; I have taken the liberty to separate it in a prologue and four parts, which I think makes sense. A final epilogue, which is a post he made three years later, no less, completes the text as an epilogue. His text was originally posted on Hypograhy, a science forum; it was also posted on Chesschat (http://www.chesschat.org/showthread.php?s=c0f65e3b9d93e2cc3972136ddddb5b35&t=10290) because… I don’t really know why he chose those two forums in particular. They, however, should feel honored they were allowed to convery the message of the God of Infinity.
Second, I believe Sumer Kolcak deserves to be read – and analyzed – because studying him is actually studying the entire human mind. It is quite literally exploring a part of ourselves that is rarely explored at all. Reading Sumer is immerging yourself deeply (very, very deeply) in the human psyche.
Third, before we go on, some people may ask: is this guy just a troll? No. No, he absolutely isn’t. Looking at everything he’s done, there is no possible way in hell this guy could be trolling, unless he is literally the biggest troll in the history of mankind – this guy has been active for at least seven years now!
Finally, I want to insist that I did not post the following analysis to be mean or insulting towards him. That wasn’t my intent at all. I aimed to provide a complete and fair analysis of what Sumer has obviously spent a lot of time writing. I believe this is important not only to better understand the persona himself, but to point out and understand several key points in his exposé. Everything I link and discuss here is publicly available and has been uploaded by him; in fact, Sumer is still active and always happy to update his list of achievements (read this analysis before diving deeper in the subject), even to this day.
Without further ado, let me present Sumer Kolcak; what follows is the exact message posted by Sumer Kolcak in 2009 (with the update in 2012), fully quoted and unedited, along with a few comments of mine to spice it up.