GoFundMe is Beyond Dumb, it’s Criminally Stupid

Am I the only one sick of what I would call “pity for the sake of pity?” You know, actually trying to find things that are going to make you feel bad just because you want to feel bad or actively seeking some stupid situation that you can easily empathize with just because it reminds you that you are a human being and that this is what human are supposed to do? I am. “Look at me, I help the needy! I am so good!” Give a few dollars, feel that you’ve done your part to make the world better.

Every day, it seems that we have more and more of those stupid boring teary-eyed stories popping up left and right; while nobody would normally give a damn about them, all of sudden, they have started to turn into some kind of massive crying circle. Every time something bad pops on the news (the part “pops on the news” is superbly important; if the media don’t cover it, we go back to nobody giving a damn), some moron somewhere starts some kind of sympathy campaign to try to make a few quick bucks. Take this GoScamMe campaign for example; a couple of weeks ago, there was a news about Flint’s water turning brown and being contaminated with lead. Sure enough, a couple of dozens of those popped up:

Let me ask a simple question: what proof do we have that these people will actually do what they said they would? In other words, what prevents them from simply… like, keeping the money for themselves? Here’s the answer they give out:

What better proof than easily-editable screenshot? None, apparently: a simple picture of two guys carrying water bottle is enough to elicit $1,500+ of “donations.”

Who are those guys anyway? And why would I give a damn about sending water bottle - possibly the least convenient way of carrying water - to some random people in a city that probably could very easily go to the store and buy some for themselves for probably a tenth of the cost? I don’t know, no one knows, but a lot of people have donated.

Every single GoFundMe campaign I read is dumber than the one before it. It’s hard to find the absolute worse, but I think this one takes the crown:

In case you already forgot (I wouldn’t blame you) about this otherwise unremarkable story, some dumb veterinarian somewhere shot a cat with a bow. Her veterinarian license was suspended. Because while thousands of cats might die every day, apparently, shooting a cat with a bow (a clean kill, I’ll give her props for that - definitely not an easy shot, especially with the cat hiding between trees) is the worst sin in the universe.

She’s appealing the suspension and you can donate to make sure she remains suspended. For killing one stupid cat. What a totally valuable cause! Forget the thousands of kids who get sexually abused every day and don’t even get a penny, we have to focus all of our energy for “justice.” Let me explain the “logic” in more details:

The veterinarian could have killed 1,000 deers and nobody would have given a damn. She shot one cat and some people call it “murder.” Look at this:


Social Justice Warriors: Great at Talking, not much at the rest


When someone hunts a deer and kills it, is it cruelty? What a cat eats a mouse, is it a crime? Let’s say I have a pet mouse and my pet mouse runs away and is then eaten by a cat: is it murder? Can I suspend the cat’s cat license?

Speaking of which, I love of that person jumps into demagogic bullshit right away (Will we NEVER evolve!!! Someone think of the children!”). Ms. Mignacca is precisely the kind of person who shouldn’t have the right to vote.

Then, you have an even dumber comment:

I’m not saying cats are bad or that we should go around killing them, but can we keep things in perspective? I’d bet thousands of cats are crushed by cars on the street every year, yet no one cares or starts a fundraising campaign to make sure the driver loses his license forever.

But running over a car is an accident. Shooting the cat wasn’t an accident!

It was a dumb decision by a dumb woman. Did she deserve to lose her veterinarian license? Perhaps. Is it worth donating to make sure that she actually loses it for good? Hell no. Take your $20 and go adopt a cat about to be euthanized. Take this quote for instance:

About 2.4 million healthy, adoptable cats and dogs—about one every 13 seconds—are put down in U.S. shelters each year.

Where are the fundraisers for those cats? Oh, but those cats “didn’t belong” to anyone, so I guess it’s fair game. It’s okay to kill a cat, unless there’s a sob story behind it. I get it now. But Kristen Lindsey didn’t know that; it’s not like she willingly went out of her way to hunt her neighbor’s cat.

I can’t end this article about stupid heartwinged stories without the most annoying of them all. A year or two ago, some guy killed Cecil the Lion and everyone started acting like it was the worst thing in the universe. He was sent death threats, people vandalized his office and some people called for him to be jailed. “It’s murder!” they said in choir.


I can’t believe people empathize with a fucking lion. If the lion had been killed by another lion, it would have been fine, but since a man did it, it’s the worst thing in the world. Again, I’m not advocating killing lions or sharks (I hate poachers by the way), but to act overly-emotive for one dead lion is probably the dumbest thing I can think of. People don’t give a shit when a child is killed; you won’t see a single campaign on GoFundMe trying to pay for a kid that has been molested for years or half-beaten to death, unless it’s started by a family member, but everyone wants to jump to defend “Cecil the Lion.”

Then, of course, there was this:

So the guy killed a lion he had the permission to kill all along. It turned out that this whole fake outrage was unfounded all along. BIG SHOCK!

Kristen Lindsey doesn’t strike me as a nice person. At the very least, she had the judgment of a lobotomized caterpillar on heroin. Is it worth ganging on her like that, going as far as trying to make sure she will never be a veterinarian again (with complete disregard to her actual animal skills, aside from her bow skill I mean)? Heck no.

$9,500, give me a fucking break.

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One Response to GoFundMe is Beyond Dumb, it’s Criminally Stupid

  1. Anon guy March 8, 2016 at 2:34 am #

    Haha…there is no end to stupidity in the world. Internet just makes it easier to transfer wealth from the stupid to the informed.

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