Groupe Lassonde (TSE:LAS.A) just invented the dumbest product of all times

I was at my grocery store today when I noticed something so dumb I just had to make a post about it. Here it is:

juice-less-calories-lassonde

Immediately, I noticed something was wrong. Why? Well, Oasis is a very popular brand of fruit juice. This raises an interesting question:

How do you reduce the amount of calories in juice?

Answer: you can’t. Not unless you dilute it with water. In fact, my first reaction when I saw that was “they added water to lower their cost.” I was right:

oasis-low-calories-filled-with-water

So instead of drinking juice, you’re drinking juice diluted with water. Brilliant. You know how else I can get juice diluted with water? By buying the regular product and mixing it with water myself. In fact, not only am I going to be able to choose the exact ratio of water/juice I want, I’ll end up with much higher quantity of diluted juice.

Groupe Lassonde is brilliant, in a malevolent way. This “Health Break Carbsmart” produce (got to give them props for the name) sells for the same price as regular juice, yet without a doubt costs much less to make.

Damn, I really wish my juice had fewer calories in it!

-Said no one, ever.

Am I the only one having a problem seeing “water” as the first ingredient for juice? This isn’t juice as much as it is “flavored water.” Companies have to list ingredients in order of importance, but they don’t have to specify quantities. Is this produce 30% water, 50% or 70% water? No idea.

Speaking of which, look at that crazy list of ingredient. Do we really need to add “corn maltodextrin” in what is being marketed as a “health product?” But perhaps the most ridiculous on the list is “natural flavor” Since when does juice need natural flavor? Honestly, reading that list of ingredients made me think about a chemical experiment gone wrong. Don’t you look it when each vitamin is added individually to make it look like it’s healthy? You know how else you can get your vitamins? By drinking juice.

I don’t understand who would be stupid enough to ever buy this product. Compare that to Tropicana, another leading brand of fruit juices:

tropicana-ingredients

Keep in mind both products retail for approximately the same price.

“Hmm, a mix of around 10 different chemicals or a 100% pure juice, the choice is hard.”

I see what Groupe Lassonde tried to do with their crazy health-maniac juice, but it’s still stupid as hell. You know, the hunt for calories has gone way too far. I just don’t get why it’s popular to pay more for less all of a sudden simply because something is labelled as “healthy.” Are people really that oblivious?

That being said, I don’t understand how this product made it to the shelves anyway. Is there really nobody at Groupe Lassonde that stopped for a moment and thought, “Wow, you know what, this is a really bad idea.” I mean, I wonder how the R&D meetings went like:

“Guys, what if we mixed our juice with water, then dumped vitamins back into the mix? We’d be able to save 40 calories per glass!”

I kid you not: a glass of Tropicana has 110 calories, a glass of that Oasis crap has 70. All that trouble to save a whooping 40 calories.

I think we have a contender for the worst product of all times.

P.S.: By the way, Lassonde, it’s 40% fewer calories, not 40% less calories. You even got that part wrong.

Liked it? Take a second to support fscomeau on Patreon!

, , , , ,