The Top Ten Most Annoying Hobos: Conclusion

Avoiding the most annoying hobos is a somewhat delicate and difficult game; if Snoring Asshole and Stinky Lady are at opposite sides of the court, you are fucked, and it might be time to pick another career. If Staring Dyke decides to sit with her back to the wall or if Meteofag sneaks behind you with his laptop, you are dead fucked; in the meantime, you must absolutely avoid MUH-UH-NUH, unless you insist on gambling with your life. Finally, you must arrive at such a time that Armless Arry won’t have any battery left on his laptop, unless you want to study a new language – possibly one he made himself.

Overall, trying to write in that café – like any café, apparently - is a complex and borderline impossible mission. Therefore, after reading all this, you might wonder: “F., why do you bother? Writing at a coffee shop looks impossible. Why do you even try?” Well, sometimes, rarely, when there is a full moon and when the druids decide that the omens are corrects, I manage to get some of my best ideas ever. I once had a sixteen hour straight writing session and when these things happen, they almost make all of this worth it. Sure, trying to avoid annoyhobos is a complex and frustrating job, but the rare fantastic day where everything is just right makes it all worth it. Obviously, writing at home every day gets tiresome after some time and the possible reward, combined with the walk to the place (the only time I get to leave my apartment), makes the whole journey worthwhile and, as far as my creativity is involved, necessary.

As for you, think about it: which place would you choose? Which section would you prefer? Would you rather endure trashy music or people yelling in languages that are theoretically extinct? Would you rather take a shot at the cement-seats of that Tim Hortons? Which hobo would you avoid at all costs and which wouldn’t you mind sitting next to? There’s enough stuff for several master theses here.

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