I hereby declare that Hillary Clinton won the elections

It is now 6:07PM on Tuesday, November 8th, 2016, and I hereby declare that Hillary Clinton has won the elections and become president. Here’s why:

 

The first polls close at 6:00PM exactly. Look at what happened to volatility, in this case UVXY, at exactly 6:00PM, the time the very first voting booths close.

Obviously, volatility would go down with Hillary as people fear Trump and, notably, his 35% protectionist tax. Here, we can see UVXY going down from $14.50 to $14.00 within minutes.

Of course, this data is obtained from exit polls around the country. UVXY is traded by huge hedge funds and banks and they have their own observers/pollers to ensure they get the answer “first.”

This graph shows that Hillary Clinton has won. UVXY will open below $12 tomorrow morning.

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4 Responses to I hereby declare that Hillary Clinton won the elections

  1. anon November 8, 2016 at 11:52 pm #

    The polls are crazy and tight right now with Trump leading by 30 electoral votes

  2. anon v2 (super anon) November 9, 2016 at 1:24 am #

    Yeah, sorry to burst your bubble but Trump is pretty much the next president, unless HIllary can magically pull 3 states out of her ass. The market will plunge rapidly like Brexit did but on a much larger magnitude. I am hoping to pick up undervalued companies during this period. I don’t know which, however.

  3. archaic November 9, 2016 at 7:23 am #

    ha-ha

    you are the best contr-indicator.
    Thanks a lot.

    My reddit post have been censored yesterday.
    https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/5bvv83/the_big_short_is_basically_in_front_of_your_eyes/

    I really tried to warn you.
    it is very clear that fscomeau is not a professional trader.

    http://imgur.com/a/0Ez7E

  4. anon v3 (the supreme anon) November 9, 2016 at 3:11 pm #

    Correction: The market is actually surprisingly bullish. Dow Jones is by $200. People seemed to have calmed down. The market is definitely shifting direction as people look to different investments. There is rapid buying of strategic assets in anticipation for what a Trump presidency would hold. I don’t think anyone could’ve seen this coming.

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