So a couple of years ago, I was really big into online dating. Despite my natural charisma and pulchritudinous body and face, I have to admit I was too shy to approach women in real life. Or I guess after failing at it for years, I decided to try something else.
I have a lot of stories from my online dating life. Some women with whom I failed horribly, some I did date for a while, one I almost ended up marrying. My best advice to all new online daters: find a fresh one. Find one who just made her profile and move aggressively on her. Nothing worse than one who has been on there for several months; like a piece of fish left on the counter at your local fishmonger, the longer it stays there, the more it stinks.
But anyway, as I said, I have a lot of great stories, but for now, I thought I would start with a short and simple one, just to start things well. This is a woman I met around 6 or 7 years ago with whom things “really clicked.” I mean, we just connected, if you see what I mean. We had very similar personalities, our senses of humor were almost identical and she was very beautiful. Mature, professional, she was precisely the kind of woman I was looking for. I know she appreciated me as well and she did not hesitate to compliment me or even outright admire me.
Overall, it was the kind of first date that just starts off very well and goes better and better as time passes. We had a couple of drinks and I told her all about me: about my job, about what I wanted to do, etc. She told me about her family and how she had been mostly raised by a single dad, how she wanted to spend a year off to travel the world, etc. We had a couple more drinks and then, well, we were just gazing at each other’s eyes. We really liked each other.
Had it not been for that one little detail, I think we would still be together to this day.
The night was ending, the place was about to close and I came to realize I had never asked her what her job was. Her profile had mentioned something about office work, but I had no idea of what precisely she did. Here’s, to the best of my memory, how the discussion went:
“So, I’m curious, your profile mentions administrative work, but what do you do precisely for a living?”
“I’m a lawyer.”
“Ah FUCK!”
I stood up, dropped a few $20 bills on the table and then immediately left without a goodbye. I was pissed off.
It had been going so well. I should have known there was something about to go wrong.
Lawyers are some of the biggest scum on the face of this planet. Only rotten and/or stupid people go study the law and only totally rotten people become lawyers. And I don’t mean the kind that does pro bono for abused kids, I mean the kind that bills $200 per hour (minimum) to debate on whether or not to add a comma on a contract and then bills $400 per hour to try to get out of that very same contract.
Truth be told, there are three professions I won’t date, and two of those professions involve the legal system. It’s not that I hate lawyers, far from it; lawyers are something you might have to use once in a while if you want to survive in that crooked system. However, I certainly wouldn’t want to date one.
So I was pissed. I didn’t even say goodbye. I think it was very dishonest of her not to mention her profession right away. I think she knew it would turn off men right away. The only men who dates lawyers are a) morons or b) people attracted to her cash. I mean, who would seriously want to devote their entire lives to study something that is quite possible 100% evil?
I studied the law for one year. Let me resume what I discovered from it in one sentence: what is considered illegal for someone earning $100,000 per year isn’t necessarily illegal for someone earning $100,000,000 per year. Take Hillary Clinton: as Trump said, if anyone did a fifth of what she did…
So why the hell would you want to jump feet first into that piece of garbage world? I certainly wouldn’t.
My readers might mention that I could have at least banged her. But truth be told, I don’t think I would have been able to have an erection in front of her anyway. That’s how disgusted she made me feel.
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